


They Laugh and Kiss

by GBHoltzFan



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-02 12:49:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10218518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GBHoltzFan/pseuds/GBHoltzFan
Summary: Sweet slow burn between Holtzmann and Gilbert.





	

The Screw U pendant was a statement, as much as her yellow-tinted goggles, her hair, her overalls: Jillian Holtzmann danced to her own beat. And she loved flashing a warm smile to women because it felt so good.

Her universe was one of particles, atoms, wiring and fire. She would make machines that purred and hissed proton streams but she wasn't so good at understanding people. She'd sit back, watch and try to figure out what made them tick. Then she'd let the rythmn of the music take over. It felt good, it felt alive.

She'd also experiment with human energy, finding the best combinations of touches triggering the maximum sexual pleasure. Gawd! Did this ever feel good.

She viewed feelings much like an on/off switch, "On" feeling good, "Off" feeling anything and everything else than "On". While muddling through the wide specter of human feelings, she kept a mental dbase of the "feel good" ones, learning the properties of each and how they came about. Yes, Holtzmann used a scientific approach to feelings.

In her everyday life, she had figured out which external stimulus made her feel good: warmth, music, explosions, pringles, sex. Love felt wonderful but often turned into pain. So, she set out to figure out the "safe" parameters for this feeling.

She formulated two conditions for "L" (as she referred to "Love"):

1) Acceptance, trust, tenderness, caring and honesty  
2) Reciprocity

Reciprocity was the most unstable element. Until Abby, she second condition was elusive, causing love to sour. Abby was different. It wasn't the crazy, head-over-heels infatuation. It was the feel good love, loving and being loved, no matter what.

Tactile and equating love with sex, Holtz had tried to display her affection in a sexual way to Abby who had responded with a soft smile, acknowledging Holtz's desire, telling her she cared deeply but sex was not her thing. Holtz had taken a a moment to respond. To Abby's relief, Holtz didn't feel rejected: she still felt loved and safe with Abby.

Months went by : they were colleagues and friends, trusting, secure and mindful of each other's feelings. Abby, knowing Holtz's after work activities included regular one night stands would occasionally remind her to be careful: Holtz would answer with a grin and break into a sexy dance.

Then Dr. Erin Gilbert came a knocking.

Holtz had read the book and heard about her. She was surprised to see her standing there, nervous, angry, apologetic yet demanding. She quite correctly read the surprise in Erin's eyes, as she introduced herself.

Over the next few days, Holtz went from being employed to unemployed, from being the trusted and only partner to feeling like a third wheel with Erin coming on board, resuming her friendship with Abby. Dr. Gilbert did look at Holtz with the dismissive look one gives a junior partner. Holtz was an old hand at dealing with this. She could deal with it. She turned on the music to her favorite 80's tunes and set out to discover her grove while unpacking in their new workspace. Soon she was smiling and winking at Erin while lip syncing to "Rhythm of the Night".

After seeing how Holtz could understand and translate abstract physics into pratical applications, Doctor Gilbert acknowledged Holtzmann, PhD, as her peer, without reservations. With this settled, Erin still had to compose with the eccentric, unique, distractingly gayful Jillian Holtzmann.

From the book, Holtz knew Gilbert had a brilliant mind, was a superb particle physicist. Seeing her, dressed in tweeds, raised so many new questions. What made her tick? What did the tiny bow and uncomfortable shoes hide? Why was this woman blushing each time she flirted with her? Why would a smart particle physicist turn into a schoolgirl at the sight of the attractive but otherwise dumb receptionist? Why so many contradictions: the sure, smart physicist and the insecure, man-crazy woman?

Holtz understood Kevin, the man-child receptionist. She related to the last member to join the crew, Patty, the no-holds barred, say it as it is, no games, all heart Patty. Erin was the mystery to crack. Erin becomes Holtz' single greatest personal challenge. Reverse-engineering was called for.

And so, she made a point, every day, to empower Erin, make her feel special and valued. She crossed into Erin's personal space as often as she could, whether to show her how to hold a weapon, help her gear up, hug her after a particularly difficult bust, drawing her into a joyful jig or simply standing so close, shoulder to shoulder with Erin. It was innocent enough yet every touch seemed to say "It's ok, you're safe with me."

For Erin, working on the ghostbuster team was heavens compared to the academia shark tank. She relaxed, freeing herself from years of self-doubts. She learned she could trust her team. Though she still enjoyed professional validation, she no longer felt compelled to seek personal validation from men. She was well on her way to self-acceptance, except ...

Except for a last, persistent, insecurity in regards to her sexual orientation. Holtz mere presence in a room was enough to make Erin wonder about her heterosexuality. Holtz was a beautiful, kind, loving, strong, smart woman. She was happy, herself, openly displaying her appreciation of women, not giving a fuck about labels. Was she turning gay for Holtz?

It didn't help Holtz would discuss sex with the same enthusiasm and ease she discussed enhancements to a proton pack. She was not shy about her abilities as an engineer and as a lover. To her, it was simply acknowledging the fact that she was good at it and loved it. Abby and Patty were not perturbed by their younger colleague's openness. Erin kept blushing, wondering.

Holtz never stopped paying Erin compliments and flashing her the most beautiful smile anyone can imagine. Over time, when the two were alone, the tone got different, softer. The words were still witty. However, even the usual "Good morning, Hot Stuff" had a quiet, intimate ring to it. Erin even looked forward to hearing it. It felt like a warm, sunny embrace even on raining days.

WHAT? "Warm embrace"? As in "me, Holtz"? Erin shook her head. No, no, it couldn't be.

Holtz knew things had changed between her and Erin. She knew the flirting challenge, the harmless chase had been over for a while. She knew she had developed feelings for Erin. She knew the second condition, reciprocity, may never be met. She figured neither ones were successful at relationships. Yet, she fantasized feeling loved in Erin's arms, her teeth nipping at Erin's neck.

Re-examining a thought from every angle, trying to fit it in a larger equation, theorizing, over-analyzing was what Erin did, it was her nature, her training. She needed to achieve a moment of clarity before getting the whole picture.

Well, the "moment of clarity" came with a bang the next day, as a nasty class 4 whipped her into a wall. She came to, half-sitting, eye-level with her ghost busting partner, kneeling in front of her, protecting her from flying debris, softly touching her cheeks. In Holtz's blue eyes, she could read every emotion going through the engineer's heart: pain, fear, concern, tenderness, love. There was no filter, no way to mistake it for anything else.

Erin nodded, too stunned to speak, reached out to Holtz, who pulled her tightly against her. They stayed there, without speaking, holding on to each other, relief tears streaking their faces.

They heard the clank of the closing trap and the cheers from Abby and Patty. Standing so close, they could hear each other's breathing. They didn't speak, satisfied to let their hearts speak through their eyes.

Eventually, Erin tilted her head, bent slightly towards Holtz. Holtz nudged forward. Their lips met. Tentatively, Erin ran her tongue on Holtz's bottom lip while Holtz gently sucked Erin's upper lip into her mouth. They pulled back: that's all they needed for now. They walked towards the others, hand in hand, smiling.

They say confession is good for the soul. Their mutual feelings were now out in the open. Holtz felt good, on top of the world. The music blaring, she danced and pranced while working, every so often blowing a kiss to Erin who was hugely distracted by the younger woman.

Emotionally, Erin was all over the place. She giggled and blushed beet red, the next moment, she was ready to bang her head on her desk for being so foolish. As she looked up and smiled at Holtz, she wondered how long this beautiful fireball was going to stay interested in her.

Strangely enough, Holtz was the one who insisted on taking it slow. After the first kiss, Erin expected they would go straight to bed. Hey, she had been around the block once or twice... Much to her surprise, that evening, once they were alone, Holtz had taken her hands into hers, looked up in her eyes, and told her: "Erin, I want you badly. I want to hear you scream my name. I want to be yours, for a long long time. And I want to do this right, I'm scared of screwing up. I want a relationship with you. I want to make sure you're comfortable out there, with me, as your girlfriend."

Erin had no idea what Holtz meant. She froze. She didn't answer anything. Holtz, while she waited for some kind of reaction from Erin, almost ran away. The only thing that kept her there, was that Erin had not pulled away from her hands, was still looking at her. So, in a tiny voice, she added "Erin, will you go out on a date with me tomorrow night?".

When the meaning of the question finally hit Erin, she nodded before dropping her head on Holtz' shoulder, letting out a relieved "Yes, yes, I do". Holtz moved her arms around Erin, pulling her into a loving hug and she started humming a love song, rocking her slowly side to side.

In her 43 years, Erin had never, ever felt so loved. She had lived and hoped for a romantic moment like this all her life. Jillian (for the first time she thought of Holtzmann as "Jillian") was her prince. Holtz, at that precise moment, had no words to describe how she felt. It was light, it was music, it was peace. Forget about ghosts! Erin, the impossible dream, was real.

Their relationship took off. Holtz planned joyful "out of the box" dates. They were designed so both scientists could enjoy themselves as a couple, uncover, expand and share not so obvious parts of themselves while building trust, respect, friendship and love. In other words, Holtz delivered "feel good" dates for Erin, for herself, for them where they laughed, kissed, hugged, talked silly or sometimes hit more somber tones, feeling safe enough to show vulnerabilities buried far from the surface.

Sitting on the couch, having drunk the last of their nightcap at Erin's after a magical 4th date, Erin grew quiet. On previous occasions, their dates had ended with a slow kiss, before Holtz left. She knew Holtz wanted to take it slow. Self-doubts kept creeping up on Erin. She had to know. In a nervous voice she asked : "Holtz, are you not sexually attracted to me or is it because I'm too old or not pretty enough." and she continued babbling on, "I know I don't know how to touch a woman, but I'll learn. Help me out here, please tell me. Holtz?" She hid her face in her hands, deeply ashamed of being so lame, and needy.

Getting up, Holtz answered, in a teasing southern drawl "I thought you'd never ask, my dear". She held her hand for Erin to stand, and said "Lead the way", with what can only be described as a playful shit-eating grin.

No sooner had Erin taken Holtz' hand and stood up than Holtz' lips were on hers, her blue eyes burning with desire, her breasts crushed against her, her left hand low on Erin's lower back encouraging their hips to grind. Self-doubts be damned.

Once in the bedroom, illuminated by a couple of night lights, Holt cradled Erin's face and whispered in her ear "Anything you're not comfortable with you tell me and I'll stop. Promise to tell me?" Erin nodded, surprised at Jillian's concern. Holtz unbuttoned Erin's blouse, her eyes never leaving Erin's. As her hands opened Erin's blouse, touched her bare shoulders, moving to remove the garment, she felt Erin tremble. She stopped until she got a shy smile and a go-on nod from Erin.

Holtz went on to remove every last stitch of clothes from Erin, her hands moving slowly, caressing as she went, never once breaking eye contact. As Erin stood naked, nervously bitting her bottom lip, Holtz ran her hands down Erin's sides as far down as her hands, brought Erin's exquisite hands to her mouth and kissed them lightly before stepping back. In the limelight, her hungry eyes moved down Erin's lips, her neck, her shoulders, and down, committing to memory every detail. She let out a a heartfelt "Oh Jesus Christ, you are beautiful Erin!" And then she stood still, in front of Erin, with an encouraging nod.

Erin took the cue she was to undress Holtz. She fumbled with the first few button's, hissed a "shoot" under her breath. Jillian stood, relaxed, her arms by her sides, eyes looking at Erin's toes so she wouldn't embarrass her, prompting Erin to lift Jillian's chin, brush her lips with hers, before returning to the task at hand.

The symbolical signification of undressing and looking at each other nude, was not lost on Erin. Holtz was ensuring they were dismantling each other's last line of defense, exposing themselves fully, trusting each other.

At last, Holtz stood naked. Hell, she wasn't prude. She watched Erin's reaction, worried Erin may freak out at the realization she was about to get in bed with a woman. Erin wasn't saying anything. She was just looking. Holtz held her breath, unwilling to go make a move without Erin being 100% with her, afraid to rush her, reminding herself Erin could possibly back out.

Erin's mind was in overdrive. She had tried to imagine Jillian naked, many, many times. And here she was, buck naked, white skin, pale pink areolas and perky nipples, not dark like hers, blondish pubic hair, neatly trimmed, toned stomach, soft looking yet defined shoulders and arms, strong thighs, beautiful breasts. She was shocked by Jillian's small, fragile-looking frame. For some reason, she had imagined under the layers of clothes ... Oh, she didn't know what had imagined. The woman standing in front of her was stunning, drop dead gorgeous.

She motioned Holtz to turn around. She gasped as she ran her hand down her back, so smooth and inviting. Holtz turned to face her, read the amazement in Erin's eyes, prompting Erin blurt out "Gorgeous, so delicate." And she stammered "I want you".

Holtz face exploded in a smile, dimples creasing her cheeks. She literally leap at Erin, koala style, causing a surprised Erin to stumble backwards and crash on the bed. And they laughed. And they kissed.

They were going to be okay.


End file.
